In these almost past two weeks here, I learned how weak I really am.

Confined to this place, I thought I would get better fast enough and be out within a week.

I didn’t. It’s day 11 now and now I’m only getting better.

I tried to make my stay a joke with friends so they wouldn’t worry. I always thought of myself as a strong person, but the past few weeks tore down my walls and came crashing down. And then I found myself at my weakest. 

Near the end of the week, when I got worse, I broke down in tears. I cried, frustrated at myself for being here, for being weak, and for being lonely.

No one but myself could understand how I felt.

I wanted to get better and go home, to do things I wanted to do and have to do. Things I loved to do.

But the recovery isn’t easy. Being placed into this situation made me realize all the more how hard it is for Aine. His recovery isn’t something shallow. To recover again from a harsh situation is an experience that is mentally tough and delicate.

But surely again, I believe my life will be back to normal and I believe the same for Aine.

Tagged as: #kisaragi aine #tw: hospital #outofdreams #the gist: ive been admitted for over a week for pancreatitus so ive been in and out of pain and depression #im tagging this under aine's tag bc i feel its relevant and no one can tell me otherwise}}