Drabble. Pre-Aine Suicide. Closest to canon as possible. Contains spoilers to Reiji Kotobuki’s and Ai Mikaze’s routes in All Star.

“…We expected so much from you, Kisaragi. What happened?”

“Sorry. Just a lot of things on my mind.”

“Well, you better fix up your schedule. We might have to drop you, but it will look bad on both of us. Anyways, I’ll call tomorrow. Bye, Kisaragi.”

“See you.”

Click.

Aine hung up with his manager and stared at his phone. He flipped to the contacts; his long list of contacts. All the offers he had accepted in the past month. What little time he had to himself was only 1 hour each day. Barely enough time for him to think, eat, and sleep. He couldn’t even barely catch up with his other assignments.

And already, this was going to be the third job he might lose.

Continuing to staring at his phone, Aine’s breathing became ragged and he clenched the device tightly.

CRACK!

He threw the device at one of his vases and stood there as he watched the glass vase topple to the floor, shattering into pieces. His hands twitched, and he clutches his teal head as an agonizing headache overcame him.

In the corner of his eye, he spotted a magazine that featured himself on the cover. He lunged at the book and violently tore off front cover, shredding his face; his false picturesque smile.

“WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!” the teal-haired man screamed, as he continued tearing through each page: his interviews, his future debuts, his upcoming song covers.

His promising, bustling career.

Everyone expected so much out of him, Kisaragi Aine, the rising star.

But Aine was falling, no in fact, he was drowning in all this work.

He was beginning to lose his chances, and the feeling of dread came to him, that he would lose it all.

His star would fade out into the darkness, outshone by others. What else would he be able to live for, when he devoted everything to this?

He gave up everything else for work. His family, his time… and the person he loved. 

“I… I can’t do it…. I can’t….” he choked, “I can’t anymore…”

Aine continued to scream, crying as he slammed his fists repeatedly onto the mutilated sheets of paper.

He remembered seeing her walk away from him with another man, innocently smiling, never knowing the feelings he harbored for her all his life. He gave up her up for his dream and she never looked back at him. 

But now this dream… was his nightmare.

He needed to talk to someone fast; someone who could understand that burden. He needed someone to tell him everything would change.

His phone laid on the ground away from him, still intact after being thrown. Stepping over the glass pieces, not caring if he bled, Aine grabbed his phone and scrolled down to call the only person who understood him, his best friend: Kotobuki Reiji, an idol in training who attended Saotome Gakuen with him along with Hibiki and Kei.

But Reiji understood him the most out of their friends.

Dialing Reiji’s number, he leaned over his ear to the speaker, and waited anxiously for Reiji to pick up.

“…This person is not available to pick up.”

He redialed.

“…This person is not available to pick up.”

He redialed again.

“…This person is not available to pick up.”

The third time.

“…This person is not available to pick up.”

The fourth time.

“…This person is not available to pick up.”

The fifth.

“…This person is not available to pick up.”

The sixth.

“…This person is not available to pick up.”

The seventh.

“…This person is not available to pick up.”

After what was the 15th time, Aine choked a sob, not understanding why his best friend didn’t pick up.

Reiji always had his phone on him. Why? Why?

“Why isn’t he speaking to me…?”

Suddenly, his phone rang, and Aine frantically looked at the caller ID.

His manager. It was almost time for work.

Aine threw down his cellphone to the wall this time, effectively smashing it.

“**** EVERYTHING!”

Grabbing his coat and shoes, he ran out of his apartment and called a taxi. Paying the driver, Aine directed him to the one place he was able to feel at calm.

The beach.

The beach was where he was able to sing out his feelings to the waves; the splashing noises and the crying birds were his chorus.

Only to the sea, he sung and screamed his true feelings, his wishes, and secrets.

As Aine stepped out of the taxi, waving at the taxi driver as he left, he flung his shoes off and moved onward through the sand.

The receding blue waves awaited him, welcoming Aine by gently lapping at his bleeding feet.

Aine took a look around the empty beach, the colorful sunset that dyed the sky a gradient of crimson, pink, orange, blue.

He smelled the fresh aroma sea salt of the water and sand.

He heard the gentle splashing, the bubbling of waves as he ventured deeper into the water.

At least, if he would disappear, this would be the last thing he would remember.

Aine closed his eyes and dunked his head underwater, swimming as far out to the sea as he wanted to.

Doubts begin to fill his mind at what he was doing, but he halfheartedly reasoned with himself that he was going to die anyways with the way he was living.

He opened his eyes to the sight in front of him, amazed. The sea was a vast deep blue that continued on forever, holding mysteries and secrets.

Well now. It was going to hold the biggest secret of all. Mentally preparing himself, he let go of his last lifeline, his breath of air, and began to consume the salty sea water.

The water began to rush into his lungs and he began to choke, almost wanting to swim back to the surface.

But no one would wait for him up there. Nothing he wanted waited for him.

His eyes fluttered as his mind began to recede in blackness, only staring up at the light of world above.

“Let me disappear into the darkness of the sea.”

Tagged as: #trigger warning #tw:suicide #drabble #aine kisaragi #ai mikaze #Reiji Kotobuki