Natsuki stared down at the tealette after he regained his breathe for the most part and he sat up slowly with a wince but froze as Aine burried himself into the crook of his neck and began to sob. Natsuki held Aine tightly and frowned slightly at the sight of Aine crying.
“A-aine-chan…” he started but was cut off by Aine shouting his reply at him and Natsuki flinched slightly.
“Aine-chan it’s not-” he was cut off again and he fell silent. Natsuki’s tender emeralds washed over with hurt as the tealette’s sobbed rang through the room.
Why do you even love me, Natsuki?
Natsuki felt his heart clench with pain for the umpteenth time that day and he felt something within him almsot snap. He grabbed Aine’s shoulder tightly and gently wriggled him to get his attention focused on the the dirty blonde. His emeralds burned into him with pain and determination while they welled with tears again.“I love you because, you make me feel warm and happy, Aine-chan,” Natsuki said, his heart racing. He had never truly known how to describe why he loved Aine and it was hard for him to put into words right now( especially as an inexperienced lover),“Aine-chan always makes me feel whole.”
Pained emeralds stared into misty sea foam. Natsuki hoped Aine understood; he hoped it was good enough- he hoped he was good enough. But at this point, if Aine was happiest without him…..
Then he would have to be okay with that too.
The gentle blonde only ever wanted that for Aine.
Natsuki could feel the tears that pooled in his eyes begin to well at his tear ducts.
"A-Aine-chan… I only wanted you to be happy,” he trailed off as he looked down slightly, “I wanted Aine-chan to be able to smile, because your smile makes all kinds of warm, happy feelings explode in m heart….“
"I-I wanted to protect that,” he finished, bringing his determined emeralds back to Aine.
“I love you because, you make me feel warm and happy, Aine-chan. Aine-chan always makes me feel whole.”
The tealette remained still and quiet, feeling the other’s heartbeat resonate with his own. He tightly gripped Natsuki’s shirt and continued to listen, hoping he would find an answer to his heart.
“I wanted Aine-chan to be able to smile…”
My smile…?
Tears brimmed the other’s eyes, yet those emerald orbs held so much strength, despite being overwhelmed by the pain which Aine caused him. It was those same eyes that Aine fell for, especially when they radiated with happiness.
“Because your smile makes all kinds of warm, happy feelings explode in my heart… I wanted to protect that.”
He was stupid. Aine felt like a complete utter idiot. It dawned to him that no matter whatever happened, Natsuki loved him and wanted him to be happy. Aine wanted the same for him. He wanted his beloved sun to always smile. They both shared a pure love and devotion for each other.
Neither of them would be truly happy without the other. Not ever.
Why hadn’t he realized that?
“Natsuki…”
Aine moved his hands to cup his crying blonde’s face, using his fingers to wipe away the other’s tears. Tears began to fall down his own cheeks again.
“I can’t ever be happy, Natsuki…” he started to murmur, closing his eyes.
Aine felt Natsuki’s grip almost loosened on him, and he moved one hand down to quickly grasp the other’s hand tightly. He opened his eyes to face the wavering emerald ones, giving him the clearest, honest look that reminded of the calm sea.
“Unless you’re happy with me,” he finished gently, giving him a tender smile.
“I love you too, Natsuki.”
Aine had finally found his answer.
kisaragi-aine liked this