[♪] With each message she read, Haruka’s heart ached more. What Aine was going through… it was terrible. Biting on her lower lip, the composer thought of her next words carefully. She could say all the usually lines: everything will be okay or it’s all in your head. None of which would do any good.
Gently, she placed her hands over the other’s, squeezing them. She figured physical comfort would help. “You are no coward. The world is scary. I’m scared as well.”
“But I have people I can rely on. I have my friends who cheer me on and my grandmother who supports me. Without them, I would still be stuck at home. I’d still be the little girl without a path. Aine-san, you are not alone.”
Smiling a bit, she took the other’s phone and set it down. “You have me to support you. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. If you want to find your voice again, I’ll help you. If you want to wait, I’ll be patiently waiting with you. The only thing I won’t let you do is give up.”
‘I won’t let you give up.’
His eyes widened when he heard his own voice rang out in his head. Placing a hand to his head, he tried to recall that distant memory.
The first thing he remembered was his old best friend’s face. Had Reiji told him the same words before? No– that was wrong. It was his own voice who said those words.
When exactly was this memory? Why did he remember that now?
Keeping that thought in mind, his thoughts also lingered on thinking about the support she had mentioned, and he wistfully thought of his friends.
He had their support back then, but he was scared of losing their respect if he had openly told them his problems.
He was wrong. They still kept searching for him to this day, unable to give up. He knew because of his observations through Ai. No one remembered him anymore, except his friends.
No one was forcing him to sing anymore, except himself.
So what the hell was he doing? What was he still running away from now? Although he still felt lost as if he was in a dark forest, the answer– the path he was searching for, was closer than ever.
「I don’t want to give up on singing, Nanami-san. I’ll do anything to find the courage to sing again. Music is an irreplaceable part of my life and I can’t just throw that away.」
[♪] The composer nodded after reading the first message and waiting for the other to finish the second one. Haruka didn’t know exactly what happened to Aine but she never asked. It was a topic that she knew was hard to bring up but she would be ready for whenever the other was. Was it going to happen now?
Once she read the second message, she decided to sit down next to the male. She didn’t want to push him but she felt he was waiting for her to say something. “What is the truth then? If you don’t mind me asking,”
Aine inhaled a deep breath, before typing out the next message to her. As he typed it, he remembered that at first he was angry at his uncle for lying to him. But then he realized Hakase had done it for his well-being. His uncle had raised him since childhood, and knew how he felt about singing. Which was why…
「Since meeting you, you gave me a little courage to look for a way to get my voice back. I went to see several doctors from my Uncle’s network to find something, anything that would get it back. Eventually, I was able to find out something… My uncle didn’t tell me the truth.」
He clenched his phone shakily, overwhelmed by the new feelings of anguish and self-loathing towards himself. All this time…
「The truth is, my voice was never gone. But in actuality, I’m just a really big coward, that I don’t want use it or sing. It’s been like this for the entire time.」
[♪] Haruka was grateful. She had no way of knowing this would occur with Aine tonight. If she had started heading back earlier or later than she did, she would have never spotted him. Were that to happened, she could only assume something bad would happen.
She shook her head, getting rid of the ‘what-if’ thoughts. The point was, she was there for the other. Like she had been promising before hand. Something was looking out for Aine and made sure that the composer was around to help him.
Sitting back, the young girl watched the other write something in the sand. After reading it, a small smile formed on her lips.
The question confused her a bit. It wasn’t a simple concern. Aine was asking something deep. However, Haruka didn’t know how to answer his exact question but she came up with something. “I wanted to help you. I care about you, Aine-san,” Was she saying it right? “I-I think you deserve another cahnce and I want t-to be the one to show you the way.”
Another chance? It was easy for her to say that, but Nanami didn’t know his terrible history.
Would she still think he deserved another chance if he told her everything?
The fact that he had lost his voice, the most cherished thing to a singer, was probably his punishment– for not being able to live up to expectations.
For running away.
And yet despite him already predicting he answer, he really wanted to know what she would say– what she would think after know the real him. Slowly, he scratched out a new message in the sand for her. His story.
「 A long time ago, I used to be an idol. Being an idol and making people happy was my dream. I worked really hard with my friends in school towards that dream and graduated.」
「 But soon after I graduated, too many people expected so much from me and there was so much work. I got scared because I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t want to fail anyone’s expectations. I felt alone, despite having my friends near me. I didn’t want to burden them. But then… when singing became painful to me… I couldn’t take it anymore. 」
[♪] “No matter what you said, I can’t see you like that.” Haruka was a patient person and respected others but hearing the other talk so lowly about himself did irk her a bit. She wished that he would see himself the way she did.
“What is it?” The way he phrased that…
「My uncle diagnosed me not too long after I woke up from my coma. He was concerned about why I was mute. After he checked me, he told me I had hypoxic encephalopathy. Brain damage because of drowning. And I wouldn’t be able to talk or sing again for a very long time. I believed in his words.」
He waited for her to finish reading the first message and quickly typed the second message to give to her before she could comment.
[♪] “I don’t think you’re heartless.” Standing in front of the other, she lowered her hand to pet the kitten on his lap. “Your kittens see what I see, Aine-san.”
With a soft smile, she looked at him. “I see hope and a kind person. I don’t think you’re a hypocrite nor heartless. All you are is a little last. It’s alright to get frustrated. You are a person, as I said before.”
「I’m a cowardly person.」 The older male looked away from her, gripping the fabric of his sweatpants. He bit his lip tightly, wondering if telling her the truth he had recently discovered, would push her away from him. Hate him. Detest him.
