He scrolled through the social media, as the image of himself at the cafe repeated itself through the tweets and posts.
‘The Missing Idol Aine Kisaragi has suddenly reappeared?!’ #KisaragiRevival
And there went the quiet remainder of the life he had wanted, deleted by the tabloids and social media.
Letting his three cats snuggle by him, he’s decided he doesn’t want to go out of his room for a while.
What is it that I want do with my life again? Sometimes, I feel scared again, being left behind in the dark.
Remaining in silence.
“Without realizing it… by being around others… I want to sing again.”
“But I’m still too scared to admit that only for my heart to break again. So maybe… just a little bit longer, I’ll stay like this. And it’s better for Ai, isn’t it?”
You were like coming up for fresh air.
It’s like I was drowning and you saved me.
– It’s [ all ] I know.
And he refuses to let anyone see the silent tears rolling down his cheeks; to see him break down.
Voiceless…
Powerless…
Worthless…
He despised his current way of living; reminiscing the past that could never return. His heart yearned painfully, feeling hollow inside for an unreasonable desire.
But he couldn’t — no matter how much he loved it — the suffocating memories of that night were too overwhelming for him; drowning his love in fear and despair.
And it made it all the more painful to his fragile being, loving something that destroyed his life and pride so much; he closed his heart and ceased the song that was his dream.
Never again, would he dare open the book of his tragedy again; even it meant —
Pure silence.
He wished that small white lie he had told Ai was true. But the truth would hurt less this way… right? Everything would change for the better, wouldn’t it?
That way, it wouldn’t be really a lie in the end.