Haruka could feel the other shaking. She knew now that his crying increased. They were quiet but only because his voice was gone. That was terrible. To cry and have no one to hear it. No one could find the source. No one could come help him.
‘That’s why I’m here,’ she reminded herself. The male was in a weak state; a state which irrational decisions could come about. Now was not the time to be useless. ‘But what can I do?’
“I’m glad you sing of the future,”
Who was that? That voice in her mind was her own and that line was familiar. Who did Haruka say that to? When?
“A-Aine-san,” she called again. Something was poking in the back of her mind. Something about that future. A song, was it? “I-I promise, I’ll g-get you thru this,”
It was a song. Where did she hear it before? It was different from the songs that STARISH sang. That’s right, she didn’t compose this one…
“ makkura ni natta kokoro wa mori no youde sono saki ni kasuka ni mieru futashika na susumubeki michi oshiete… ”
“L-Let’s over come this together, Aine-san…”
At first, Aine could barely hear her voice through the storm. He wanted to ignore everything, just as how he did before when he disappeared to the dream.
So he wouldn’t get hurt anymore.
But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t. He wasn’t able to let go of his talent completely. His intuition and love for music didn’t let him and in the end, he was brought back. By the him who he saw on the other side, and that girl’s song.
And that was why right now, even though she sang in a weak, trembling voice, he could hear her.
He heard her song.
“
My pitch black heart is like a forest The dim and unclear path that lies beyond me,
Show me…
”
The lyrics… he had heard them from somewhere before. Faintly in the back of his mind, he remembered the soft melody of the piano. He saw himself standing in the center of the stage, in front of a large audience.
And he was singing. He was singing freely and unrestrained by the weight of the future.
“♪
I’ll cry here together Now, so I can live fully Our melody we’re looking for, I’ll surely find it If I just have these infinite feelings And you
♪”
Melodia. That was the title of his graduation song– the one he chose to dedicate his entire school year and his friends towards to. It was the culmination of his existence, his masterpiece. How could he have forgotten this song?
When had he begun to sing so desperately and not for himself anymore?
He suddenly slumped down to the sand on his knees. Comprehending his own burdensome thoughts exhausted him. But at the very least, he wiped his tears and gazed at the composer, deep in thought again.
The bond that he had with this girl… was deeper than he had thought. Why did she know that song?
[♪] The young girl enjoyed hearing the other talking about his music so passionately. The music industry needed more people like Aine Kisaragi. Regardless of which song the student sang, the emotion and dedication behind it was part of the reason it was so great. It wasn’t just the melody, lyrics or the vocals, but the person behind it all.
“The past,” she repeated. That was a more pleasant way of thinking behind the song. It wasn’t where he stopped, it was where the student began. With a smile, she moved towards the other. All this talk and music made her forget about the previous event on the phone. Which was good. There was nothing she could do about it. For the moment, the shift in focus was perfect timing.
“You have come a far way then, Kisaragi-san,” Haruka reached for the music sheet for the first song. She smiled as she looked at it. The paper itself was older and there were notes everywhere. This song had been thru a lot and it was cared for every step of the way.
“It’s nice to hear that you don’t forget where you came from. I can hear what you mean in the new song. I do hear your growth thru the years. I’m sure it’ll be perfect.”
“But you know, I couldn’t have done it without my friends.” He smiled sheepishly again at her, scratching his head. “My friends are the reason why I’ve gotten so far.”
Aine turned to the wall nearest to them, and pointed to a framed picture among awards and certificates.
“We’ve supported each other through the whole year. Going through fun times, tough times… memories that only the four of us share together. This song is especially dedicated to them- Ah!” He paused, realizing he was probably being too talkative about his friends. His cheeks reddened a little.
“I’m sorry if this is boring you! I tend to talk about my friends a lot.”
Send ‘Look into my eyes’ and my muse will bold what they see
|Hope|Love |Passion| Hate | Resentment |Envy | Indifference | Confidence | Insecurity |Greed | Desire |Optimism | Spite | Hostility |Kindness |Warmth | Intelligence | Experience |Trauma | Aggression |Gentleness | Arrogance | Pride | Lust | Cruelty |You’re soft |You’re trusting|You seem honest|You’re humble | You’re cold | You’re closed off | You’re reserved and guarded | You’re unfeeling | You’re remorseless | You’re heartless | You’re inhuman | You’re frightening | You’re frightened | You’re devious |You’re unpredictable | You’re struggling | You’re lost | You’re broken | You’re disheartened | You seem headstrong | You seem difficult |You’re stubborn |I see hope | I see purpose | I see absolute conviction | I see compassion |I see a shining light| I see shattered remains |I see something familiar |I see a friend | I see an enemy | I see a lover | I see thirst for blood | I see malicious intent | I see pity |You’re pitiful | I see darkness | You’re unwavering | You’re pure | You’re noble |
[♪] Nodding, the girl watched as the other got prepared to play once more. Haruka was excited. This wasn’t by any means a live concert of a famous idol but that didn’t matter. The feeling was still the same. Her breath was taken away and she was whisked off into a wondrous place. The world around her disappeared.
Listening to the other, Haruka’s expression calmed. Each line that the other sang relaxed her more and more. Indeed the lyrics were impressive but it had a different feeling from the previous song the student had sang. Still, she couldn’t argue that it still sounded magical.
“A…Amazing,” she whispered out. She was still in awe.
Clearing her throat, the young girl smiled a bit. “You were talented from the beginning, Kisaragi-san.” Closing her eyes, she recalled the lyrics of the first song. “Though, I’m glad you sing of the future now.”
“Thank you, Nanami-san. Your praise makes me happy.” He smiled softly when the girl did agree with his thoughts. However, hearing her answer made him chuckle quietly.
“The future, huh? I suppose that makes sense because that song is for my graduation live.” His hand reached out to grab the old, crinkled sheet of music, nostalgia overwhelming him. “The song I just played was called Yuki no Oto. I already told you before that I wrote this song before I enrolled into my school.”
“I sang this for my entrance exams and passed. If the first song you say was of the future, then I suppose this song is of the past… my starting point.” He placed down the sheet of music, and grabbed the other sheet of the newer song.
“That’s what makes this one so important. I want to finish my school year by singing this song. A song that will be proof of my existence: my memories, my bonds, and most importantly, my love for music and singing.”
[♪] Why was this happening? Haruka wasn’t sure what to do. She wanted to help, but how? In front of her was a person who needed help but he rejected it upon receiving it. If she forced him too much, he would push away more. If she stood aside, he would get hurt.
Her gaze never left his, even when he stood abruptly. Haruka was determined to help Aine get thru this.
Standing up too, she was getting ready to say something when she saw him throw the device. A choice was before her: check the message or follow him? Both were important but one was more immediate.
Leaving the phone, Haruka took a step forward. One step at a time, she reached out for him.
“Aine-san!” Her thin arms wrapped around the other from behind. With all her might, she held onto him tightly. “I-I don’t kn-know anything about what you’re going thru,” She didn’t know what she was saying anymore. Her mouth and brain just kept working on their own.
“I don’t know w-what happened to you. I don’t know why you are like this,” She was afraid. Haruka was afraid that if she let go, she would regret it. Therefore, her grip tightened. “A-All I know is that t-the past is in the past. L-Let me help you change your future.”
“G-Give me a chance to save you, Aine-san.”
The angry waves swelling in the ocean, roared out loudly as he ran. However, he stopped midway, as the rain began to pelt down on his cold, shivering body.
“I don’t want to be an idol.
I can’t sing anymore.”
Aine remembered saying those words over and over again. Even as his previous self descended into the ocean, the thought played over in his head, like a broken record.
And now, it was the bitter truth. A truth that pierced him in the heart and hurt him terribly. All that was left of him was only a broken man with shattered dreams.
He thought that the bright feeling he felt from the other “him” while he dreamt was true.
He wanted to believe his– and her – words that he could change. But he was weak, and he knew his heart couldn’t change.
So what was the reason for him to live again?
When would he stop suffering?
He heard his name being yelled out, and suddenly slender arms wrapped around him from the back tightly.
A small, gentle warmth, even it was just for a second, soothed the numbness and built up anxiety he was feeling for a little. But her words still fell on deaf ears.
Tears falling uncontrollably down his face, there was only one thought he listen to over and over again in his mind.
[♪] Aine’s advice was soothing. She indeed felt unsure and lost, as he stated, but hearing that it was normal eased her anxiety a tad. Pretty words wouldn’t solve all her problems but it was a temporary bandage that she appreciated. Haruka hoped that one day she would be able to return this favor.
“I-I hope you’re right, Kisaragi-san.” Her voice was still quiet but it didn’t tremble as much as before. Suddenly feeling the other’s hand on her head, she closed her eyes. A smile, albeit small, finally appeared on her face once more. The gesture was comforting. Plus the smile she received from the other added to the warmth returning to her.
“Oh, you will? That would be nice,” she mused. Blinking at him, her head tilted a bit to the side. “Yes, Kisaragi-san?”
“Can you listen closely to this song and compare it with the other?”
“This was a song I wrote by myself before I enrolled into my school. I want to know how much I’ve improved since then.”
He turned his focus to the piano and smiled softly at the nostalgia of playing his old song again. His hands poised, and soon he began to play and sing again.
[♪] She flinched at the look she received from the other. Her heart ached. Whatever was going on inside of Aine’s mine was eating away at him and this weather did not help.
If they were inside, where it was safe and warm, the composer would allow him the solitude he desired. However, this situation called for the opposite. There was no way Haruka could leave him be, not matter how much he begged.
“Aine-san, we have to head back.” This time her hand stayed where it was. Maybe the constant contact would help bring him to his senses. This was difficult. Haruka didn’t know what to do exactly. However, that didn’t mean that she would give up.
“I-I’m sorry but I ca-can’t leave you.”
He jerked his hand away again and stood up immediately. Keeping his gaze low towards the ground– to disallow her from seeing his tears– he shook his head again.
If only he was able to tell her the words: “You don’t understand a thing about me.”
But then ironically, he wouldn’t be suffering like this. His voice was everything, and now he was nothing.
His existence was nothing to the present, or the future. And he had led himself to this cruel fate– regardless of whether he acknowledged the world or not– his own life wouldn’t acknowledge the happiness he wanted again.
Biting his lip, he typed something quickly on his phone. However, he shakily threw down the device and quickly turned away from the composer to run– with a possibility towards the tumultuous ocean.
His cellphone laid muddy on the ground. The backlight glowed, blinking his unfinished message.
[♪] Did he really like it that much or was he just being nice? Either way, the statement made her happy. “Oh, that’s right.” Nodding, she turned so the other could start brushing her hair. “I hope it’s not too difficult to style my hair.”
「Don’t worry. I think I still remember.」
Holding up the hairbrush carefully, he brushed her in even strokes. He remembered up until a while ago, his own hair care was done by himself. Particularly when he was a student, he styled his own hair.
It wasn’t anything fancy, but he remembered that back then, he wanted to do all he could to shine.
[♪] The compliment widened her smile. “Thank you but it’s a really simple style.” She sat back and looked at the other. “Though, it looks better on you than I thought.”
「I think I might wear my hair like this from now on. It might solve a problem I’m dealing with right now.」
