[♪] “Aine-san, you’re not on a time restriction.” Even when the other’s smile disappeared, she kept her own. What the male was saying did tug at her heart but she had to be there for support.
“You’ll find your dream but it doesn’t have to be today, tomorrow or even a year from now.” Haruka reached up and placed her hand on top of the other’s, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to go back to being an idol. If you want to continue with singing, there are other options. You are capable of doing anything you want. I know it.”
“But Aine-san, don’t focus on the future so much. Focus on right now. Leave the locket and your dream aside for now and enjoy what you have. You have your voice back.“
She was right. He didn’t have to be an idol anymore. But somehow, that revelation felt all too strange and foreign to him.
Who was he supposed to be, if he wasn’t an idol anymore?
When her hand reached out to reassure him, he felt his heart calm down a little.
She was right, he still had time to think about his future. No matter how long it would take… he would find the answer. He had his voice back now, which was much more important. That’s why right now instead, he should gather the inspiration to write his new song.
“You’re right, Nanami-san. I still have time. Maybe I’ll be able to find the answer soon enough.”
“By the way, Nanami-san… I need to go a few places today. Would you like to escort me?”
[♪] “E-Eh? Y-You don’t have to do something like that!” However, she wasn’t going to argue any further. Not one he smiled like that. Haruka would agree to almost anything if it made the other smile like that.
It was only fair, huh? “…I guess when you put it that way, I can’t refuse. Just don’t go out of your way for me, got it?” It was strange to be promised a gift but it made her happy for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that he would remember her birthday
“A new dream? Well, you’ll have to let me know about that as well.” The composer smiled a bit. “It will be hard but it may be fun too. Each photo you have or can take has a meaning behind it. I have a few photos with obachan that I always look at when I have a hard day or photos of STARISH when I need motivation. It depends on what you want your locket to help you with.”
“I’m not sure what my new dream will be.” The smile he had fell from his face and he sighed softly. “I’ve lived most of my life pursuing the dream to become an idol. I’m still scared of going back to that stage.”
“But I don’t know… or I don’t think I’m capable of doing anything else besides singing.” He stared down into the empty locket and pursed his lips together.
“It’s hard to picture what will I do for myself in the future, just like choosing what to fill this locket with.”
[♪] “Is that so? Hm, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry about getting me a necklace.” Seeing him again after so long was something she appreciated more than anything else. Haruka missed him over the last few months. Seeing his face relieved her.
“You’re welcome~. Is that so? Well now you’ll have something to wear again.” Her smile grew a bit when she saw him touch the jewelry. “It has a slot for a photograph. You’ll let me know when you find something to put in it, right?”
“I’ll find something to give when your birthday comes around. It’s only fair that you have to accept it.” He smiled back at her, with a slight chuckle.
“Mmm. The pendant I was wearing before was really special to me. But I decided to put it away until I figure out what my new dream will be.” He had placed the old necklace in a small keepsake box with a photo of his parents and left it at their altar. He wasn’t sure when he would wear it again, but it was still close to him. Not wearing his keepsake left him anxious sometimes, so Nanami’s gift relieved him.
“A photograph, huh…? That might be a little hard to decide.”
[♪] Hearing the other’s voice still shocked her a bit. It made her happy though. Aine was healing and faster than she anticipated. A small laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head. “Nope that’s not enough! I wanted to get you something.”
The composer walked up to the other, stepping around him. From behind she draped the chain over the other and clipped it close. The locket hung around his neck. Her smile grew.
“Oh good, it’s a good length.” she mused before going back around to face him. “I hope you like it. It looks nice on you~.”
“You know this should be the opposite… Nanami-san. Normally the guy would give a girl a necklace…” Aine scratched his head bashfully but sighed. She was doing this because she wanted to, and he appreciated her feelings.
It was nice someone remembered his birthday… when was the last time he even celebrated it?
“Thank you for the present though… I was feeling weird not wearing my pendant.” Unconsciously, he clasped his hand over the locket, feeling the bumpy texture that was unlike his blue-gem necklace.
[♪] In one hand she held a cupcake with a candle in it while in the other hand she had a small gift box. Setting both down in front of the recipient, she smiled at him.
“ Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear Aine-san Happy birthday to you~! “
Her smile never falter. After she finished singing, she sat down next to the other, motioning him to blow out the candle and to open his gift. Once he did, Haruka reached over and took out the necklace. She opened it, revealing that it was locket. One side was for a photograph, which she left empty so he can decide what to place in there but on the other was an engraved message. It read: Happy birthday, Aine-san. No matter what, you’ll have both music and me to rely on. -Haruka Nanami.
Holding it up, she said, “Lean over so I can put it on you. I want to make sure I got the right length.”
It had been almost two months since he had found his voice back on that day. No words were able to describe the immense relief and happiness he felt being able to talk again. He also remembered on that same day he had passed out from his own recklessness and deadly flu. Thanks to his uncle’s meticulous care and Nanami’s kindness, he was able to recover again.
As soon as he was able to get out of bed, he secluded himself to reconnect with his voice. It was personal training– it had been years since he had last spoken or even sang.
But it was also because he wanted to listen to his own voice alone for a while.
Because of that, he ended up not being able to meet with Nanami for almost a month. While he exchanged messages over SNS with her, he felt a bit lonely not seeing her.
Her visit today surprised him when he came back home from jogging. However, with the cake on the table and present in her hands, he was more surprised he had forgotten that it was his own birthday.
“You… you didn’t have to do this, Nanami-san. It’s the first time in a while since we’ve met up and you remembered my birthday. Isn’t that enough?”
[♪] Haruka sat in silence, watching the male go through something in his mind. She didn’t interrupt him, rather she waited for him to continue. All that she wanted right now was for Aine to find little things to be happy about. The big obstacles in his way could be easier to tackle if taken in smaller chunks.
“Aine-san, I make music,” Her smile widened. The composer made her way to sitting next to the male on the couch. “You’ll find your courage. I will help you. Once you’re ready, I will give you all the music you need.”
“I’m happy that you want to keep singing and music in your life, just know that you’ll be stuck with me too,”
「In order for me to find that courage, I have to face my past again… So I can step forward. In truth, I’m actually really scared of tracing the scars I can’t see.」
「But I don’t want to make any more regrets by giving up again.」
Suddenly, Aine leaned forward and lowered his head to her in a bow. Even though, he knew she would accept regardless, he felt compelled to mark a promise.
「So please, Nanami-san. I ask of you to write me a song while I do that. I will definitely sing your song… I promise!」
[♪] With each message she read, Haruka’s heart ached more. What Aine was going through… it was terrible. Biting on her lower lip, the composer thought of her next words carefully. She could say all the usually lines: everything will be okay or it’s all in your head. None of which would do any good.
Gently, she placed her hands over the other’s, squeezing them. She figured physical comfort would help. “You are no coward. The world is scary. I’m scared as well.”
“But I have people I can rely on. I have my friends who cheer me on and my grandmother who supports me. Without them, I would still be stuck at home. I’d still be the little girl without a path. Aine-san, you are not alone.”
Smiling a bit, she took the other’s phone and set it down. “You have me to support you. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. If you want to find your voice again, I’ll help you. If you want to wait, I’ll be patiently waiting with you. The only thing I won’t let you do is give up.”
‘I won’t let you give up.’
His eyes widened when he heard his own voice rang out in his head. Placing a hand to his head, he tried to recall that distant memory.
The first thing he remembered was his old best friend’s face. Had Reiji told him the same words before? No– that was wrong. It was his own voice who said those words.
When exactly was this memory? Why did he remember that now?
Keeping that thought in mind, his thoughts also lingered on thinking about the support she had mentioned, and he wistfully thought of his friends.
He had their support back then, but he was scared of losing their respect if he had openly told them his problems.
He was wrong. They still kept searching for him to this day, unable to give up. He knew because of his observations through Ai. No one remembered him anymore, except his friends.
No one was forcing him to sing anymore, except himself.
So what the hell was he doing? What was he still running away from now? Although he still felt lost as if he was in a dark forest, the answer– the path he was searching for, was closer than ever.
「I don’t want to give up on singing, Nanami-san. I’ll do anything to find the courage to sing again. Music is an irreplaceable part of my life and I can’t just throw that away.」
